Holy Crap! The World is Ending!: How a Trip to the Bookstore Led to Sex with an Alien and the Destruction of Earth The Anunnaki Chronicles
Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Comedy, Genetic Engineering
Pronoun
September 21, 2017
345
Now you can eat whatever you want and not care if you gain weight.
The president has announced that Earth is going to collide with a rogue moon, and in the process, our entire planet is going to be smashed to bits. As one would expect, upon hearing this news, humans went ballistic. It was as if every sports team in the world lost their championship game at the same time. No car was left unrolled--but oddly enough, Taco Bell remained open and made unfathomable profits in the last days. Apparently, Doritos Locos® Tacos were a popular last meal.
Autumn (who for the purpose of this retelling asked to be portrayed as drool-inducing hot with kick-ass ninja skills) has just been handed the task of saving all of humanity. With the help of her unbelievably sexy alien boyfriend and her kleptomaniac friend with fire-retardant hair, Autumn races to save her fellow humans by using the Ark of the Covenant. Along the way, she discovers how sheltered people are from the truth of extraterrestrials and their power to either protect us or destroy us.
Stupid government.
Grab a bottle of wine, a shipload of snacks, and prepare to take a ride on this humorous chick lit romantic sci-fi paranormal adventure. If you're into Ancient Aliens, conspiracy theories, UFOs, crave a little sexy time in your reading, are curious if we were genetically engineered (like the Sumerian cuneiform texts claim), and are dying to find out the meaning of life, then this book is for you.
Available at Amazon.
Reviewed by Linda Tonis
Member of the Paranormal Romance Review Team
When I first began this book I loved it and I found myself laughing out loud unfortunately the last half just went on and on and became confusing at times which was so disappointing because I really wanted to love this book not just like it.
Autumn and her best friend Emma have a passion for food something I totally share with them except they don’t gain weight and I do. When one of their food feasts runs late Autumn finds herself in a bookstore where she is suddenly overcome with a sudden feeling of leaving her body and nearly collapsing. She hears a man’s voice telling her to leave and that they can’t do this,what this is we find out later.
The man is Rigel, an Anunnaki from the planet Nibiru and for some reason there is a strong connection between him and Autumn a connection they can’t seem to fight. Rigel reveals that if he as an Anunnaki and if he is seen with a human woman they would both suffer grave reprecussions but in spite of that they are both willing to take their chances. He also reveals that Earth is going to be destroyed unless humans unite together for good and not evil something the Anunnaki are sure is not going to happen.
Autumn tells Emma what is going to happen and they try to come up with ways to save themselves, one is a raft made out of ding-dongs so when they are hungry they will have something to eat or a boat made out of twinkies, it is those things that made the book funny.
There is also a character called Devon who has hair so high he is able to hide things in it. When the President finally announces to the country about Earth’s destruction he tries to encourage them to behave properly because if they do they will be saved, of course the first thing that happens is pilferaging, cars overturned, stealing and in Autumn’s case nearly being raped.
It is Devon who saves her and becomes her friend and hero, he even went to her leaving behind the tv he was stealing. It was Rigel who sent him but he and Autumn become fast friends and he is there to help her when she discovers that she and Rigel are part of a prophecy that would unite two worlds. It is up to Autumn to save the world using the Ark of the Covenant.
Everything in the Bible is given a new twist, humans were genetically engineered by the Anunnaki and the story of Adam and Eve and Noah’s Ark are are all part of the Anunnaki’s plans. There are Anunnaki’s who want mankind destroyed and those who want to save it so it will all depend on whether Autumn can do what she can to change people from going crazy to joining each other in peace and saving humans from distinction.
As I said in the beginning of my review the book was very funny at times but at times it just went on and on but I look forward to book number two to discover what happens to Earth and the rest of the characters that I grew to love.